Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
