He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
