Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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