If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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