Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I could fuck to npr.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
