The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Vodka?
Forever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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