Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize