Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
