dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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