I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
