The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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