people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I love having hate sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I believe in your delicious
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize