Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize