he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
