I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
