come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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