Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
