It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
