She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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