So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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