Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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