Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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