my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My ass is underappreciated
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
