You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
