even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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