Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize