i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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