I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
