I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
