im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
