That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
