This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
