Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
