At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He passed out mid-signature
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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