But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
