i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Come on in and take your pants off
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