I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
