Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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