Taylor Swift is so right about you.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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