8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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