He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
