I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
