dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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