And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
