I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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