Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
