Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
