Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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