you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My penis needs a shock collar
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
