We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
