Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
