chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
