yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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