let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize