I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Blood and glitter go together right?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize