Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
