i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
