yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
