He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
