don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
