I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
