at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
