you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
